Not “your mamma”

So the interesting thing about language is we often fall into the vernacular of our communities, intending to be understood, to show we belong and communicate in a way our community understands.

This is why I totally understand how doulas use some phrases without thinking.

Because if we take the time to think about it, some of the language that has developed among doulas is problematic.

I’m talking about doulas referring to clients as “my mamma”, or “my woman” or any of these variations. “I have a woman in labour… My woman is at x hospital… I have a labourer …”

Women don’t belong to us. We can’t claim them.

As doulas working in an industry that strips women physically and metaphorically of their autonomy, we must be vigilant about the language we use. When a large part of our work is creating scaffolding around women, supporting them to maintain autonomy and agency, it makes no sense that we use language that is patriarchal and paternalistic in nature.

Women’s bodies have been claimed over time by fathers, husbands, churches, governments and doctors. Let’s not add ourselves to this list.

Please be mindful of how you discuss women in your care. If you are debriefing or talking about clients and trying to maintain anonymity (so not calling them by name) try out a few phrases that you might use instead.


 

Are you a doula interested in exploring the intricacies of the maternity system? Do you find yourself examining women’s care, the maternity system and (often lacking) maternity choices?

‘Women, the system and the illusion of choice’ is available exclusively to doulas undertaking We Birth’s Mentorship Pilot Program, in addition to 1 to 1 mentorship and an absolute cornucopia of advanced doula education.

Enrollments close August 20. For Australian doulas only.

 

 

 

The conversations we need to be having more often.

words: Jen Hazi

The problem I find most about being somewhat introverted is that I can’t abide small talk. I am sure this is what suits me well to the world of birthing and women’s spaces. I tend to dive in and talk with people about the more intimate experiences in their life.

So spending a morning with independent midwife Sheryl Sidery and Women’s Mysteries Teacher Jane Hardwicke Collings (in truth these descriptions barely touch the surface of who these mighty women are and all that they do), discussing birth, our maternity system, women’s choices and power struggles was my idea of a perfect day.

Of course, these conversations are important and best shared around. Fortunately, Jacki and I were prepared and managed to film some important and powerful dialogue that we can’t wait to share in our upcoming course: Women, the system and choice the illusion of choice.

If you are not yet on our email list now is the time to add your details and be the first to know when this is course is available.

In the meanwhile, we have put together the sneakiest of peeks for you to get a glance at what we are creating.  drop by HERE

Jen’s story.

My name is Jennifer Hazi, I am a Registered Midwife, Doula and childbirth educator. I work as a midwife in a busy suburban hospital in Sydney, privately with women and their families in their homes and facilitate a monthly space for pregnant women and their female support people which is a unique mix of education, connection and space for women to process the changes and expectations where they are in pregnancy.

I fell in love with birth sometime during my first pregnancy in 2005. Over the course of my pregnancy, the fear I didn’t even know I had was slowly educated away and a fascination with the body’s ability to grow, birth and nurture a baby with very little help from outside.

I began my work as a doula, training with an experienced doula in a mentor/mentee relationship. After a year of working together under the nurturing eye of an experienced doula, and completing the Optimum Birth training for good measure, the launch into private practice was smooth and joyous.

My hunger for all things parturition continued into my direct entry Bachelor of Midwifery at UTS. While studying I juggled childbirth education, working as a doula and my growing family. I am fortunate to have worked with women in continuity not just through one pregnancy but over the course of their childbearing career and being invited into such an intimate and incredibly life-affirming space with new families is a continual privilege.

I now have 5 witty and vivacious girls who keep me busy and work clinically as a midwife in a large tertiary referral hospital in Sydney. I absolutely love working as an educator and working with women and their families as they discover their own fears about birth are dissolved with good information, a space to reflect and time. I work privately with women and families wherever suits them antenatally, and postnatally in their home. Occasionally I attend births as a doula, however, at this stage, I try to “pay it forward” and bring a newly qualified or student doula with me. I have begun to play with photography and filmmaking more to fulfil my creative needs (far from professional!!), and my only regret is I didn’t start sooner.

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So what are my passions? My family is number 1. Having 5 daughters definitely gets me thinking more than ever about women, our empowerment and how to ensure the road is smoother for the next generation. I am fortunate to have found a profession which is also my hobby. I know many of you feel the same way. I truly believe doulas are an underused resource for women and their families in both the birth space and the postnatal period. I know for myself what a pleasure it is to work with compassionate and caring doulas and how much physical and emotional support in the postpartum can have such a positive effect years later.

I really believe we, as midwives, doulas, obstetricians, childbirth educators, birth photographers, postnatal support people, birth workers and all of us in the perinatal space have a massive responsibility to protect the future by providing care in the most respectful and uplifting way possible.

Words: Jen Hazi

7 copy.jpg(It’s pretty difficult finding a non-pregnant pic of me but I did it.)

 

10 must haves for every doula bag.

How is your Doula bag looking? If it is anything like mine it is a highly cultivated cornucopia of all things birthing, in a convenient package, light and portable enough to be carried from home to clients home, to the hospital and back home again. I have spent a great deal of time balancing the desire to have something for “every possible need” vs being able to actually walk while holding it. The following list shows the most valuable contents that I really can’t live without.

1.  An amazing Bag. Extra points for pockets.

 

 

Ok. Technically this is not in the bag but as someone with a tendency to over-prepare and a love for all things in its own place a great, a hard working bag is a must. I have had my fair share of bags over the years, (some have been better than others) and have found the 3 main needs are size, quality and organisation. To have a handle break or a seam line split mid-birth is more than a little annoying. It needs to fit a pretty wide variety of contents (see below) and what’s more, you usually need to find that one exact item pretty quickly. I have used a large volume Hershel duffel bag (cute, hardworking, pretty indestructible) but there still remains the issue of organising.  On more than one occasion I have had to unpack/repack my bag to get to that all important item at the bottom. You might find organising your belongings into 2 bags serves you well in the beginning, but when you are ready to invest there is a range of perfectly suited bags marketed under “midwives bag” (go ahead, google it) that have pockets for just about everything. In the middle range, you will find a bunch of backpacks/duffle bags/ shoulder bags that have a number of external pockets, and these might be enough for you to organise your supplies without breaking the bank.

2. An old muesli bar.

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Well, that’s what I have but really it can be any snack for you and other support people to share. In a perfect world this would be a fresh salad with some good protein, however more often than not the mad dash out the door means not a great deal of time to plan some meals, sandwiches and snacks for you to eat and restore your energy. For me, the old muesli bar is my go-to because it stores well, is high in protein, doesn’t have a strong odour (garlic breath may not be the birthing woman’s favourite scent), and can be eaten with one hand, a bite at a time, and over several hours if need be.

3. Heat packs.

If you haven’t got heat packs in your bag. well, you should. I personally use sodium acetate reusable heat packs. They have an aluminium disk that you “click” and the sodium acetate crystallises to create instant heat (around 50 degrees celsius) that lasts anywhere from 30 minutes to 2 hours. Theoretically, these can be reused forever, and they last as long as the plastic holds together (usually a few hundred uses). The prices can range a LOT, so think about how many you need to get a good stockpile knowing constant heat on back, abdomen, legs etc. in labour is definitely a bonus. I personally haven’t found a huge variation between the expensive name brands and some cheaper ones (found at the reject shop) but feel free to comment if you have had a different experience.

4. Massage tools

Because birthing women get tired. But so do we. There is a massive range to choose from. Some of the options include small battery operated massagers, wooden reflexology tools and deluxe hand-held percussion/heat/massage tools for head and back. Special mention to the orgasmatron (if you are not familiar with it please try to ignore the name).

5. Spare change

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It feels like most places in the world accept cards, but for some reason, a lot of hospital services aren’t always as accessible. Keeping a few notes and coins around for parking, coffee, vending machine and incidentals will really help. I have been to more than a couple of births that have lasted longer than my battery life (#11 remember your phone charger!!) and needed to check in at home with a payphone.

6. Music player

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In a perfect world, women will have the time, desire and patience to curate their personal playlist/s for birth. But in those moments when they have been forgotten or unfinished, having a few options to play is incredibly helpful. There is nothing worse than arriving at the place of birth and not having anything to drown out the sounds of chatter/ chaos/ other birthing women in the hall and adjacent rooms. Having access to an online music stream is a great option that doesn’t require purchasing a music player, you can find them free or buy a paid subscription. Spending some time making a few different playlists will give you different moods at the press of a button. If you are going to invest in music, I would absolutely recommend a Bluetooth speaker, for your music (or for the music of your client) over a music subscription (if you need to choose) because sound quality and volume can make all the difference.

7. Aromatherapy

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Creating space for women to labour and birth in is essentially flooding their senses with positive sensations. Considering scent, there are a range of uses for essential oils to help create the environment you are aiming for. Consider using them in a massage oil, in a diffuser or a couple of drops on the shower floor or in a bath.

8. Journal

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Keeping a journal of your experiences, what worked, what didn’t, how the woman moved instinctively, or how she was moved into a position (positive or negative) is really beneficial to improving your care and practice. Writing in the quiet moments of labour and postpartum can be a great way of being present (to be called on if needed) without being invasive (respecting that the woman and her family are doing a great job without your intervention and may want your presence to reassure them but not needing direct action). Going back over your notes later on and reflecting on your practice, what worked well, what didn’t, what you know and have learnt and what you still need to know are such a vital component of our work as birth workers. Learning from the women and families we care for never stop,s and keeping a journal is a great way to keep track of that.

9. Knitting

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Firstly, as mentioned (see 8. journal writing) having a quiet, unintrusive activity to do while a woman is labouring, particularly something you can do in a low-lit room can be a fantastic tool if the woman you are caring for wants the reassurance of you being there without needing physical support. It’s a fantastic way to be present without watching her (which can be quite off-putting), but should probably be discussed with the woman before labour so she doesn’t think you are ignoring her. Quite a bit has been written about knitting in the midwifery profession and not all of it applies to work as a doula, though is well worth the read. Bonus points if you are able to craft something so give the parents or baby as a gift. It can be quite special, and think of the energy embedded in something made in the birthing space.

10. Change of clothes

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Because long days and nights can leave you feeling less than fresh, and amniotic fluid has a tendency to splash. No one likes going home with some maternal body fluid on them.